Leaving Your Comfort Zone: Finding a Reason to Change

Apple Podcasts – Spotify – Amazon Music – Pandora – iHeartRadio

Why Is It So Difficult to Leave Your Comfort Zone?

We spend much of our lives trying to make things more comfortable.

We work toward financial security, build familiar routines, and try to create circumstances where life feels predictable. After enough hard work, we hope to reach a point where we can finally relax and enjoy what we’ve accomplished.

But what happens when we get there and discover that something is still missing?

Or when life changes, and the routines we’ve depended on no longer work?

Leaving your comfort zone can be difficult, even when you recognize that something needs to change. Familiarity provides a sense of security, while pursuing something new introduces uncertainty, effort, and the possibility of failure.

Yet some of the most meaningful chapters of our lives begin when we recognize that our current circumstances are no longer enough.

In the Hero’s Journey, this is called undertaking the quest. Something changes in the protagonist’s world, creating a problem, responsibility, or opportunity that demands a response.

The protagonist must decide whether to remain in familiar circumstances or accept the challenge ahead.

Our lives present similar decisions.

In this episode of the Full Mental Bracket Podcast, Brent Diggs and Paul Berkes explore the psychology of leaving your comfort zone, the relationship between comfort and meaningful growth, and why having something worth pursuing can change our willingness to face uncertainty.

Drawing from personal experiences and movies like Iron Man, The Hunger Games, Star Trek Generations, and Stranger Than Fiction, they examine what happens when we recognize a call to change—and why we sometimes resist answering it.

The central question: What would make stepping outside your comfort zone worth the effort?

This is Episode 003 of our series exploring how the Hero’s Journey applies to real life. Explore the Complete Hero’s Journey Series →

Brent and Paul explore why we resist change, how comfort influences our decisions, and what motivates us to pursue something meaningful.

🧠 Recognizing the shift: How to recognize when circumstances have changed and your old approach to life no longer works.
🧠 The comfort paradox: Why having everything you want doesn’t necessarily produce a satisfying life.
🧠 Finding a meaningful quest: How having something worth pursuing can motivate you to accept difficulty and uncertainty.
🧠 Comfort versus avoidance: Why rest and security are valuable, but making comfort your primary objective can limit your growth.
🧠 Accepting the call to change: What fictional protagonists can teach us about responding when life takes an unexpected turn.
🧠 Reinterpreting discomfort: Why difficulty doesn’t always mean something has gone wrong and how purpose can change the way we experience it.

Along the way, they discuss the importance of taking responsibility for our response to changing circumstances while recognizing that not everyone has the same resources or opportunities to begin again.

⏳ 00:00 – The Hero’s Journey: Undertaking the Quest
⏳ 03:39 – Accepting the Shift: When Life Needs to Change
⏳ 13:05 – Security, Change, and Gift from the Sea
⏳ 21:04 – Finding Meaning Beyond Yourself
⏳ 25:11 – The Comfort Paradox: Why Comfort Can Hold You Back
⏳ 32:08 – Iron Man, The Hunger Games, and Answering the Call
⏳ 45:10 – Stranger Than Fiction: Resisting Change
⏳ 54:51 – Why Discomfort Isn’t Always a Crisis

Full Transcript

Most of us develop ways of living that work reasonably well.

We establish routines, build relationships, learn how to handle familiar problems, and develop expectations about how life is supposed to work.

Then something changes.

A career takes an unexpected turn. A relationship enters a different stage. New responsibilities appear. Or we begin recognizing that something we’ve been pursuing no longer provides the satisfaction we expected.

The circumstances have changed, but we’re still trying to use the same approach that worked before.

In the episode, Brent and Paul describe this as accepting the shift.

In storytelling, the shift is the event that disrupts the protagonist’s familiar world. The old situation can no longer continue unchanged, creating a demand for action.

But protagonists frequently resist that demand.

Think of Luke Skywalker initially refusing Obi-Wan Kenobi’s invitation to leave Tatooine. He has responsibilities, obligations, and plenty of reasons to stay where he is.

We respond similarly when our own circumstances change.

We may delay making a decision, hope the problem resolves itself, or continue relying on approaches that are no longer effective.

Sometimes that hesitation is reasonable. Important decisions deserve careful consideration, particularly when they affect other people.

But there comes a point when we have to recognize that the situation has changed.

Brent and Paul compare this to trying to solve a new problem with an old tool.

The tool may have worked perfectly well before. But if the problem has changed, we may need to find a different approach.

Accepting the shift begins with recognizing the circumstances we’re actually facing, rather than continuing to operate as though nothing has changed.

That recognition creates the possibility of choosing what to do next.

We love stories about people undertaking extraordinary adventures.

We cheer for the hero who leaves familiar surroundings, accepts an impossible mission, and risks everything to accomplish something meaningful.

But would we want to live that story?

Most of us would prefer to watch the adventure from a comfortable seat with some popcorn.

Brent and Paul call this the comfort paradox.

We admire the courage, sacrifice, and determination of fictional heroes. We recognize something meaningful in their struggles.

Yet when our own lives present difficult challenges, we often prefer to avoid the inconvenience.

Brent describes reaching a point when he had many of the things he’d been working toward, only to discover that he still wasn’t satisfied.

For years, the expectation had been that enough comfort and security would eventually produce happiness.

But once those circumstances were available, something important seemed to be missing.

The problem wasn’t necessarily that life needed to become more exciting.

It was that comfort alone didn’t provide a sufficient sense of purpose.

We generally don’t admire fictional heroes because they successfully avoided every difficult situation.

We admire what they chose to pursue, what they were willing to sacrifice, and the people they became along the way.

And there’s a connection to our own lives.

Meaningful accomplishments often require sustained effort. Relationships require attention and responsibility. Developing capabilities takes practice. Contributing to something worthwhile may involve making sacrifices.

These activities can be deeply satisfying, even when they aren’t particularly comfortable.

That doesn’t mean discomfort automatically produces growth or that everyone should constantly seek new challenges.

It means a life organized primarily around avoiding difficulty may also avoid some of the experiences that give life meaning.

The question becomes whether we’re using comfort to support the things that matter to us or allowing the desire for comfort to determine what we’re willing to pursue.

Recognizing that something needs to change is one thing.

Finding the motivation to do something about it is another.

In the Hero’s Journey, the protagonist’s quest provides a reason to leave familiar circumstances.

Sometimes the mission is chosen. Other times, circumstances force the protagonist into a situation they never wanted.

Either way, there must be something worth the effort.

Brent and Paul discuss how meaningful goals often involve contributing to something beyond ourselves.

The mission might involve protecting someone we love, providing for our family, building something useful, correcting a problem, or helping other people.

These aren’t necessarily dramatic adventures.

For most of us, meaningful responsibilities are found in ordinary life.

But they can still require courage, sacrifice, and a willingness to face uncertainty.

Consider Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games.

Katniss has learned to survive within a system she cannot control. She knows the world is unjust, but her immediate concern is providing for her family.

Then her younger sister is selected for the Hunger Games.

Suddenly, the larger injustice becomes deeply personal.

Katniss volunteers to take her sister’s place.

She doesn’t accept the challenge because she wants an adventure. She accepts it because protecting her sister matters more than preserving her own safety.

Her purpose changes what she’s willing to endure.

Of course, most of our decisions aren’t that dramatic.

But the underlying question is familiar.

What matters enough to you that you’re willing to accept some difficulty to pursue it?

Having an answer doesn’t remove uncertainty or guarantee success.

It gives your efforts a direction.

And when the inevitable challenges arrive, understanding why you’re making the effort can help you decide whether the cost remains worthwhile.

One of the more personal moments in this episode comes from Brent’s experience serving in Desert Storm.

Before deploying, he picked up a copy of Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s Gift from the Sea.

It wasn’t the kind of book he normally would have selected.

But after the ground war, while waiting to return home, he finally opened it.

Having spent an extended period dealing with danger, uncertainty, and the close quarters of military life, he found the book’s reflections on solitude and quiet contemplation particularly meaningful.

It was the right book at the right time.

The experience illustrates an important distinction.

Comfort is a good tool. It’s just not the place you live.

Rest, solitude, security, and recovery have genuine value.

They provide opportunities to process difficult experiences, regain our strength, and prepare for what comes next.

The problem develops when we begin treating comfort as the final objective.

Later in the conversation, Brent and Paul compare this to a boxer resting between rounds.

The boxer sits down, catches his breath, receives attention from his corner, and prepares to continue.

The rest is necessary.

But the goal isn’t to remain on the stool indefinitely.

The same principle applies to other areas of life.

Taking time to recover from a difficult experience can be essential. So can enjoying the stability and security we’ve worked to establish.

But eventually, we have to consider what those resources are helping us accomplish.

Are we resting so we can return to something meaningful, or are we using comfort to avoid participating in our lives?

The answer won’t always be simple.

Sometimes rest really is the most responsible thing we can do. Other times, we may recognize that we’re avoiding a challenge because it makes us uncomfortable.

Learning to distinguish between those situations is part of making thoughtful decisions about our direction.

Not every meaningful change begins with an inspiring opportunity.

Sometimes the call arrives through circumstances we would never have chosen.

Brent and Paul examine this through several movie examples.

In Iron Man, Tony Stark is captured and imprisoned by terrorists.

His familiar world has been completely disrupted. The wealth, influence, and status that previously defined his life offer little protection.

But his fellow prisoner, Yinsen, helps him recognize that he still has abilities he can put to work.

Tony begins reconsidering his situation, his responsibilities, and the legacy his actions are creating.

His circumstances haven’t immediately improved.

What changes is his decision about how to respond.

In Stranger Than Fiction, Harold Crick goes to extraordinary lengths to preserve his carefully organized life.

When he realizes that circumstances are pushing him into a story he doesn’t want to participate in, he attempts to withdraw.

But eventually, even the safety of his living room disappears when a demolition crew arrives.

It’s a memorable illustration of the limits of trying to avoid change.

Sometimes the circumstances we’re trying to preserve are already changing around us.

We don’t always get to choose the situation.

But we may still have choices about how we respond, what resources we seek, and what direction we begin moving.

Brent and Paul also acknowledge an important complication.

Not everyone who appears unwilling to change is comfortably avoiding responsibility.

Some people have experienced repeated disappointments or difficulties and no longer believe their efforts will accomplish anything.

For someone in that position, encouragement alone may not be enough.

They may need support, resources, and help rebuilding confidence before they’re ready to begin moving forward.

The point isn’t that everyone should immediately embrace whatever difficulty comes their way. It’s that recognizing our circumstances is the starting point for finding a useful response.

There’s another assumption worth examining.

When life becomes difficult, we sometimes interpret the discomfort as evidence that something has gone wrong.

A relationship requires more effort than expected.

A new responsibility becomes exhausting.

We’re struggling to develop a skill that seemed much easier in our imagination.

And our first reaction may be that life shouldn’t be this hard.

But difficulty is often part of pursuing something worthwhile.

Consider physical exercise.

If we’re trying to become stronger, we expect some of the work to be uncomfortable.

We understand that the effort is connected to an objective.

That understanding can change how we interpret the experience.

Brent and Paul discuss how a similar principle applies to other responsibilities.

When we know what we’re working toward, some challenges become easier to understand in context.

We’re not necessarily enjoying the difficulty.

We recognize why we’ve chosen to accept it.

Of course, not every hardship is productive. Some difficulties are unnecessary or harmful, and sometimes the right response is to change course or seek help.

But when the effort serves something meaningful, discomfort doesn’t automatically mean we’re on the wrong path.

Sometimes it means we’re engaged in work that matters to us.

And when things become difficult, it’s worth returning to a simple question:

Why am I doing this?

Does the effort still serve something important?

Is it helping build something valuable?

Or have circumstances changed enough that it’s time to reconsider the direction?

Those questions help distinguish purposeful effort from simply enduring difficulty out of habit.

Toward the end of the episode, Brent and Paul invite listeners to examine the direction of their own lives.

Here are three questions from that discussion:

1. What is your quest?

Does your life currently have an objective that gives your efforts direction? What are you working toward, and why does it matter?

2. What would make leaving your comfort zone worthwhile?

Is there a responsibility, goal, relationship, or cause important enough to motivate you to make a meaningful change?

3. What legacy are you building?

If you continue in your current direction, what will your efforts contribute to the people and things that matter to you?

You don’t need to discover a dramatic mission or completely reinvent your life.

Sometimes undertaking the quest means recognizing a responsibility you’ve been avoiding, adjusting to circumstances that have changed, or beginning something you’ve wanted to pursue for years.

The important thing is to recognize that you have a role in deciding what comes next.

🎬 Iron Man — Tony Stark’s circumstances change dramatically, forcing him to reconsider his responsibilities, abilities, and the legacy he’s creating.

🎬 The Hunger Games — Katniss Everdeen accepts a dangerous mission because protecting her sister matters more than preserving her own safety.

🎬 Star Trek Generations — Captain Kirk faces the choice between remaining in an idealized world of comfort and accepting another meaningful responsibility.

🎬 Stranger Than Fiction — Harold Crick attempts to avoid the disruptions threatening his familiar life, only to discover that withdrawing from the story won’t prevent change.

These examples illustrate different versions of the call to adventure: choosing a mission, responding to an unexpected crisis, and recognizing when it’s time to leave familiar circumstances behind.

Why is it so difficult to leave familiar circumstances behind, even when we recognize that something needs to change?

Our companion article explores the call to adventure, the comfort paradox, and how finding a meaningful purpose can help us begin a new chapter.

Read: Leaving Comfort to Undertake the Quest: The Hero’s Journey to Growth

Research examining how interpreting life through the Hero’s Journey can influence people’s sense of meaning.

📖 The Hero with a Thousand Faces — Joseph Campbell

An influential exploration of recurring patterns in mythology and storytelling, including the call to adventure.

📖 Gift from the Sea — Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Reflections on solitude, personal responsibilities, and finding balance in life.

Affiliate disclosure: We earn a small commission on qualifying book purchases at no additional cost to you.

If you’re curious about the psychology behind the Hero’s Journey and why stepping out of your comfort zone is so transformative, check out our follow-up article:

Subscribe to Full Mental Bracket on your favorite podcast platform, leave a review, or share this conversation with someone considering an important change in their life.

We’d also like to hear your thoughts.

What is something meaningful you’d like to pursue, but haven’t yet been willing to begin?

Contact us at Contact@FullMentalBracket.com.

This is Episode 003 of our seven-part series exploring how the Hero’s Journey applies to real life.

In the previous episode, we explored what it means to become the protagonist of your own life and take a more active role in shaping its direction.

In the next episode, we explore why protagonists need allies and how the people around us influence our ability to navigate life’s challenges.

➡️ Leaving the Comfort Zone to Undertake the Quest: The Hero’s Journey to Growth

This article breaks down the key principles behind these ideas and how you can apply them to your own life.

📄 Seeing Your Life Story as a Hero’s Journey Increases Meaning in Life – Benjamin Rodgers and crew
📖 The Hero With A Thousand Faces – Joseph Campbell
📖 Gift from the Sea – Anne Morrow Lindbergh

(Affiliate disclosure: We earn a small commission on these books at no extra cost to you.)

💡 Subscribe, rate, and leave a review to support the podcast! Your feedback helps us reach more people on their growth journey.
📢 Share this episode with a friend who needs encouragement today!

This episode is part of a special 7-part series on personal growth through the Hero’s Journey:

< Previous Episode | Complete Hero’s Journey Series | Next Episode >